Your generous donation will help support our family as we go through our cancer journey. Whatever amount you are willing and able to give is a blessing and our family is eternally grateful for your kindness and generosity. Thank you and may God bless and keep you!

Our store is also partially open and we have bundles on sale that might appeal to you if you are a crafter. I do wish to continue being a part of this wonderful crafting community, no matter how small a part that is, so I can still feel some sense of normalcy. Any kind of sale helps.

SHERY’S BREAST CANCER JOURNEY

Update #2: As of 08/2023, I continue to be NEAD per my latest PET/CT scan. Also, my bone density scan showed I have osteopenia but I am taking calcium and vitamin D, along with other supplements recommended by a naturopath who specializes in helping women with breast cancer. Thank you for the continued prayers! My next scan is in February 2024.

Update #1: As of 2/24/2023, I am NEAD - No Evidence of Active Disease! PRAISE JESUS! My oncologist even said the words “in remission” because there is no evidence of cancer anywhere in my body. My breast cancer journey is far from over — now I start the long-term treatment (endocrine/hormone therapy) to keep my NEAD status for as long as possible and it involves continued doctor consults, monthly injections, and regular labs, tests, and procedures my doctors order. So please continue praying for me and my family. Please know that I am so grateful to you and all those who helped us and continue to help us in every way — through prayers, meals, donations, purchases, cards, gifts.

On April 15, 2022, I was diagnosed with breast cancer — Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (right breast). I was initially staged at Stage IIB, but a PET scan done shortly after indicated it has metastasized to my right pelvis. And so my cancer was upstaged to Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. My doctors (surgeon and oncologist) recommended neoadjuvant chemotherapy to shrink the large tumors in my breast before doing surgery. My current treatment plan is palliative — the goal is to slow down the cancer’s growth and keep it from spreading further so I can focus on my quality of life.

I began sharing my breast cancer journey on my Facebook account and blog, and I am sharing it here now on this page for those who don’t do social media. I will update this page as I’m able.

My family and I are blessed to have wonderful support — from family, friends, church family, and the online crafting community. If you are so moved to help our family during this time, there are several ways you can do so:

1. through the Meal Train page that a sister at our church set up for us — either to bring us prepared meals (if you live close by) or send us GrubHub gift cards

2. by supporting our business if you are a crafter — buying from our digital store or ordering any of the tangible product bundles we are offering

3. by clicking on the red DONATE button on the left side — doing so will directly send funds to us that we can use for anything we currently need. Right now, much of our needs are for our day-to-day expenses as well as for gas money as I travel to appointments, labs, and treatments. We live out in the country and it is a 40-minute drive to my oncologist’s and surgeon’s offices, and just as long a drive to lab facilities and the hospital where my doctors are affiliated with.

Please know that my family and I are very grateful for any help you are willing and able to offer. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.

24 February 2023

february 24, 2023: the first day of our new/renewed life as a family.

this afternoon, i saw my oncologist. it was time for my Xgeva shot and to get started on endocrine therapy. and to find out the results of my PET/CT scan. i held on David's hand tight as the doctor read the results from his computer.

it was the BEST news we've had since this all started April last year. my PET/CT scan is clear -- nothing lit up, no cancer anywhere, and all my organs are "unremarkable" -- that is my favorite word this year...no, it's my favorite word of all time! THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF ACTIVE DISEASE! my oncologist actually used the words "in remission". (David thinks he meant to say "resolution" as he was reading results related to the continued absence of lesions in my pelvis, but my oncologist didn't backtrack or take it back or anything so i'm sticking with it!)

i cried, i'm still crying, and i suspect i'm going to burst out crying a few times over the next several days because i am overcome with joy and gratitude. and awe...because all these things -- the treatments i received, the people who treated me, my time at Eden Valley, my family, my church family, everyone who's been praying for me, the timing of everything -- i consider them evidence of God's handiwork.

one of my first thoughts as the news sunk in and i kept hearing the words "clear": i get to be around my little girls for a while longer! and it filled my heart with indescribable joy. i am beyond grateful.

what a way to close the week and enter Sabbath rest. thank you for praying for me -- God certainly heard you! ❤

22 February 2023

i did it! my first painting since my diagnosis. i had packed up my brushes and paints and art supplies 10 months ago, believing i was never going to paint or do art again. then last week, i took them all out from storage, wanting -- hoping -- to paint again. and finally today, i picked up my brush and started. it felt so good...even though i had to stop a lot because my fingers hurt holding the brush. i'm thankful to Jesus for letting me find joy in doing what i love.

loose painting of a zinnia in acrylics on 6x6 birch wood panel. process photos included 🙂

18 February 2023

didn't wake up until 20 minutes before we had to leave for Sabbath school this morning. thankfully, the girls had gotten themselves ready. they washed, wiped, brushed, and picked and put on their clothes (they decided to go twinning) -- and all i had to do was get myself dressed 😀

happy Sabbath! ❤

13 February 2023

my simple happy today: discovering that my hair is long enough that i could tuck it behind my ear! of course, that's after discovering i have partial eyebrows (it took this long for them to fall out!) but who cares?!?!?! i can TUCK my hair behind my ear 🤣

oh yeah, today's gotta be the worst in terms of my radiation burns. nearly half of the area that received radiation is now peeling and i've got peeling skin that hurts like mad. (the slightly dark/burned skin showing is the best looking but imagine that and multiply by 12 and that's how bad the rest looks.) but hey, it's healing, i'm healing. Jesus is healing me - and i am thankful, even thankful for the pain because after that is blessed relief.

praying for you all to have a wonderful week! ❤

11 February 2023

my heart is happy to have a little play time in my tiny (3x4) sketchbook this afternoon. a bit of quick doodling with my (cheap-o) acrylic paint markers and micron pens.

my art and creativity suffered a great deal the last 10 months and now that i'm done with active treatment, one of the things i'd like to get back to is art/painting -- and so i am taking little steps. another thing is i'd like to get my girls in on the fun too so i have taken out all my art supplies and i'm organizing them so we can have regular art sessions 🙂

Jesus is so good! Happy Sabbath, my friends! ❤

09 February 2023

today is the first time in months that we didn't have to wake up early or change up the girls' day because i have a doctor appointment or a procedure or a treatment or need to have lab work done. we let their daddy sleep in because he badly needed (still does!) rest and sleep. in the last 10 months, he has been doing nearly all of the work: taking me to where i need to go while still taking care of the girls and their schooling and taking care of me. even when he is sick, he puts himself last because our needs come first.

so here is a photo i took of the girls and me today as we ate lunch on the porch. the sun was out, seemingly celebrating with us, and it wasn't too cold that i was able to be outside without a coat on (although it lasted about 15 minutes and then i had to put one on - lol).

it feels good to have a "normal" day again, though i know our lives are changed and we can't really go back to living our old normal prior to cancer. but i believe Jesus has a greater and better plan for us/me and we simply need to step out in faith and put His will first and do our best to do things according to His plan.

❤

08 February 2023

i got to ring the bell! and i am so thankful my hubby was with me. i had/have an awesome radiation team. i told Julio the nurse and Renee the radiation therapist that i love them but all but I hope i don't see them again for treatments! still have to go to the radiation place for a follow-up in 6 weeks and they would be people i would absolutely love to see and hug and say hello to. thank you so much to all of you who pray for me unceasingly. next.couple of weeks i will be recovering and healing and then i start the next phase of my journey. for now, i am done with active treatment and i am so thankful to Jesus for sustaining me thus far! ❤

01 to 08 February 2023

i miss writing poetry, and this month, my haiku are likely going to be about my children and my journey as a metastatic breast cancer thriver.

yes, i am calling myself a thriver, not a survivor, because "thriving" is so much more positive and hope-full than "surviving"! it's been 9.5 months since my diagnosis and i have been through a lot, and 4 words have resonated--and continue to resonate--all throughout: prayer, faith, hope, Jesus!

01 February 2023

radiation treatment #20. almost at the homestretch. thankful to Jesus! 😃🙏❤️

——

my little sassy biker girls. Winter passed me and said cheekily, "see you later, slowpoke!" then she and her sister had a little accident and Kathryn ran over her bike train and ripped it out from the back of her bike😁

in other news: yesterday was my weekly consult with the radiation oncologist so after i had radiation #19, he saw me and took a look at my right chest and axilla (armpit). i'm pretty burned there and i have been slathering eucerin cream over the areas in much the same way i slather--pour would be more accurate--brown gravy over vegetarian dinner roast on thanksgiving. he said burned skin aside, it all looks pretty normal and as expected. "you make it look so easy!" he exclaimed, giving me a not-so-gentle whack on the back as he walked me to the women's changing and waiting area.

30 January 2023

we took the girls to the fresno zoo yesterday. been wanting to go there for the longest time but it was hard to squeeze it in between my doctor appointments and treatments the last 6 months. 4 hours of walking and exploring. (i was exhausted.) finished off the trip by having dinner at the old spaghetti factory (finally!!!).

27 January 2023

on the way to radiation treatment #17.

25 January 2023

so yesterday i called the imaging place to ask if their scanner is working and they said yes it is. so hubby and i left early this morning (leaving the girls with his parents) for my PET/CT scan. about 45 miles from the place, i get a text from them informing me that the scanner is down...again...and they don't know when it will be back up. at least they told me before we got there. oddly enough i'm not upset or angry about this repeated delay in my scan. hubby just said perhaps it's divine intervention -- we don't/can't really know, but i know to trust Jesus and that these things happen for a reason i don't even want to try to understand (or i'd go nuts). i'll have my scan when i get it. i do know i was so looking forward to eating at the old spaghetti factory afterwards 🙂 that bean and rice burrito from taco bell we got on the way home sure was the yummiest thing to land in my mouth after 30 hours of fasting lol 😁

on a positive note, yesterday they did another round of xrays and imaging on me at the radiation place before my treatment. they needed to do this to assess me and make sure i'm okay to go ahead with the next phase of my radiation treatment plan (#14 to #25) -- and radiology oncologist said "everything looks great" so i had treatment #14. (however, my right chest + axilla looks a bit red, which is normal; and little red bumps appeared monday night, which they think is caused by the cream i've been putting on so they had me switch to using a different one. seems to have done the trick because this morning, the little bumps were fewer and were looking a lot less angry.)

it's a great day to be alive! thank Jesus! ❤

20 January 2023

thank you for all your prayers for my PET/CT scan. it was a long drive from home to the imaging place and I got here 30 minutes early to fill paperwork, only to be told 15 minutes past my scheduled time that their scanner is broke so no go. re-scheduled for Wednesday. scanxiety is real, and i pray 🙏 for calm.

19 January 2023

getting ready to head to radiation treatment #11. so far things are going well. however, i am once again asking for prayers -- i am having a PET-CT scan early tomorrow morning, ordered by my med onco to assess my metastatic BC. my previous scan 6 months ago showed the lesions in my pelvis have disappeared (labeled "resolved" by the radiologist), although my oncologist continues to have me staged at 4. my tumor marker CA 15-3 as of 3 weeks ago was less than 3 U/mL (waaaayyy below the normal range of 30 U/mL or less), so i am hopeful. so many of you continue to pray for me and again, i am so grateful! i can't ever repay, but believe Jesus will take care of it for me 🙂 thank you and have a wonderful day!!!

today, i am thankful for: my almost-2-inch-long hair that is sticking out all over the place! (coming out wavy/curly too!) could be thicker, but i am not complaining! i am happy to not be too baldy anymore 😃

18 January 2023

my 3 reasons to fight, live, hope. ❤️

10 January 2023

today, God showed me, once again, that not only is He in control, but that His timing is perfect. and He put me firmly in my place when i had that moment of doubt and started to worry. a sister in Christ put it aptly...i am/we are in faith training school.

earlier this afternoon was Day 4 of my radiation treatment. we were on our way when my cell phone rang. it was my oncologist's medical assistant calling to let me know that my doctor ordered a PET-CT scan for me and wanted me to know she wouldn't be sending the request to the place where i'm getting my radiation treatments because my insurance is no longer contracted with them beginning this year. my oncologist's office has been busy re-routing patients with the same insurance as mine to Fresno -- where i will have my scan. she also told me that i should talk with the people at the radiation center first before getting my treatment today to check if they will bill me for my radiation treatments; she didn't want me to get hit by a big bill at the end of my treatment.

now, i never received any communication from my insurance or the radiation place that they are no longer contracting with each other after 2022 so it was a complete surprise to me when i learned of this. immediately i felt dread and i worried about how much we would end up paying. it was one more stressor i didn't need, and by the time we pulled up at the radiation center's parking lot, i was a wreck. David couldn't come in with me because the girls were with us and children aren't allowed inside. i was thinking we would be in deep debt if we continued with my treatments and i did not want to put my family through that.

i didn't know what to do or how i was going to deal with this but as i walked through the doors, i asked God to help me. i approached the reception desk and there were two women there. it took all of my energy (and my energy was at its lowest this afternoon) to talk and explain to them what i had just learned. One of them looked up my information on their computer and checked my insurance. after a couple of minutes, she said, "you're fine. don't worry. your treatment was approved last year so you are good." i was still in disbelief and asked if they are sure and got another "yes, you don't have to worry." i felt relieved and i'm pretty sure i heard a voice in my head say, "I promised you before that I've got you. you need to believe Me more." i don't know how i got through my 4th treatment but i do know i spent those 10 minutes thanking God. we also swung by my oncologist's office (it was less than a mile from the radiation center) and got confirmation from the medical assistant; after she called me, she was informed the radiation center will honor and treat patients (including me) who got approved for treatment last year. she meant to call me back but she got buried in paperwork and calling other patients that she never got around to it.

it's only Tuesday but it has been a hard week so far; this afternoon was a good reminder that Jesus is in control.

08 January 2023

the girls have been busy making beaded bracelets the last couple of days. right before i put them to bed tonight, they showed me a few of what they made. Winter made one for me with beads in my favorite color. we wore our bracelets for a bit -- there were lots of girly giggling 🙂

07 January 2023

woke up today with severe joint pains in fingers, wrists, elbows, and knees. barely managed to get the girls dressed for Sabbath school. when they got home, they took care of me and helped me with infrared light therapy on my knees. been frustrated lately because i have been having a difficult time holding on things and even unscrewing caps has been painful and often I'm not able to get that simple task done. asking for all my faithful friends to lift me up in prayer once again. thank you and God bless you ❤️

06 January 2023

yup, i got this. and God's got me! ready for radiation #2

05 January 2023

me in the waiting room before and after my first radiation treatment. i was told this one was the longest of the 25 treatments i'm getting because of all the measuring and stuff needed to be done. it took about 25 minutes and all i had to do was lie still and hold my breath for about 20 seconds whenever they told me to (which was about a dozen times) while the machine turned and moved around me.

the background music my radiation therapists Greg and Renee had on in the treatment room was Michael Jackson's Beat It 😁i didn't really care for the music, but i thought it apropos with my fight with breast cancer.

"thank you, Jesus" was the one line that i kept repeating to myself throughout my treatment:

- thank you, Jesus, for giving me a really good, caring, and highly competent radiology oncology team.

- thank you, Jesus, that the cancer center where i'm being treated is the best here in the valley, having the latest/most advanced image guided radiation therapy machine used on me.

- thank you, Jesus, for surrounding me with people -- family, friends, church family -- who continuously pray for me and give me spiritual encouragement all these months.

- thank you, Jesus, for my husband who takes care of not just me but my children as well; who has been taking me to all my doctor appointments and treatments the last 9 months. he is the real hero here and bears so much of the burden ever since my diagnosis. please include him in your prayers -- prayers for health, strength, and fortitude.

and because i'm the curious sort, i asked my radiation therapist Greg after my treatment a bunch of stuff: what's that wire you stuck to my side a few times? where exactly was the radiation coming out of the machine? what's the purpose of that bolus you put to cover my chest and side? (i couldn't take a photo of the actual radiation machine they're using on me, but i found a stock photo online and it's the exact same thing.)

on my way out of the dressing room, i ran into Michelle, the radiation oncology nurse. she recognized me and was happy to see me. i hadn't seen her since october, when i first came in to meet with the radiation oncologist for the first time. i get to talk to her and the doctor on tuesdays during my treatment.

one day down, 24 to go. tomorrow will be another day to be thankful to Jesus. ❤

04 January 2023

had a dry run for my radiation this afternoon. all's a go so tomorrow i start radiation therapy. please pray for me -- my radiation therapy is going to be every weekday for the next 5 weeks, with fatigue and nausea predicted to hit me by the second week. i also have a 30% chance of lymphedema on right arm since 11 lymph nodes were removed when i had surgery last August.

30 December 2022

right outside a Subway on the way home from my doctor appointment and monthly shot for my bones. the girls got excited when they saw this garbage truck collecting trash and wanted a photo with it 😃

25 December 2022

Merry Christmas from the Russ family 🙂 ❤

24 December 2022

got the girls' stockings done. now onto wrapping gifts!

24 December 2022

Happy Sabbath! ❤️

20 December 2022

it's my Winter Rainbow's birthday! can't believe she is 5 - we officially don't have babies/toddlers in the house anymore! so very thankful to Jesus He picked me as this little girl's mama. and even more thankful i get to celebrate her birthday with her this year, all things considered ❤

17 December 2022

what a wonderful Sabbath morning spent with our church family ❤

15 December 2022

i'm up bright and early and rarin' to get my last chemo out of the way today! i never got around to shaving my hair the last time it started falling/thinning out again.

despite my perceived bravado about not caring what other people think about my being bald (i have not been out in public without head covering), i felt insecure when i changed into a gown for my CT scan last monday. i asked the CT tech if i could keep my beanie on and he said it's best if i took it off. i reluctantly did, telling him that whatever hair i have is awful. he looked at my head and without blinking, looked me straight in the eye and with a big smile said, "your hair is fab, girl!" i realize it's part of his job and he's seen probably hundreds of cancer patients dealing with hair loss but i could tell he was sincere; it did so much to lift my spirits up. normally during procedures, i prefer to skip the chit-chat (i tend to be socially awkward) and keep to myself but he put me at ease and talked me through the hour-long scan with lots of stories.

so my not-so-profound stuff for today? it never hurts to say something kind to someone, regardless of their circumstance. be assured that kind words will never bring anyone down. you may just happen to be the ray of sunshine another person needs in that moment.

thank you for praying for me, dear friends! God loves you 🙂

12 December 2022

ahh alone at last with the hubby! at my doctor's office 😁

***

my radiation pre-planning went well today - praise Jesus! had CT scans and my CT technician was awesome and made the hour-long procedure easy and a no-stress one. and hey, i got 3 tattoos! never mind that they are each the size of a pin head 🤪

after this week's chemo, i have 3 weeks to recover and then radiation therapy starts in the new year. also getting referred to get tested for carpal tunnel and do physical therapy - not sure when those will happen but if anything, i've learned that God will take care of things like silly insurance approvals and schedules and all i have to do is wait...because things are running -- i am not behind on anything: i am receiving treatments at the right time, in the right place(s), administered by the the right people -- all of which i believe have been orchestrated by Jesus, because how else could this all happen if not by His hand?

thank you for the constant prayers, dear friends. you are all incredible and i'm forever in your debt. and now i gotta do the laundry and hug my kids 😁

ps: and would you believe i got my 3rd jury duty summons since my diagnosis? they are summoning me in january, right smack when i start my radiation treatments. had to get another jury duty excuse letter from my primary care provider today and she requested i be excused for 6 months.

08 December 2022

all hooked up for my 11th chemo treatment. next week is my last one! nausea continues to be a no-show so i am truly thankful to Jesus for that. energy level is still pretty much low but i'm praying i will have it restored once I am off chemo, which means being able to enjoy Christmas even more with my family. wrists and hands continue to hurt and tingle; the splints haven't helped ease those so I don't know what to do, except call my primary care provider and have her refer me to a specialist.

but enough of chemo stuff! I am looking forward to doing Winter's cake for her birthday on the 20th. already have a design in mind and I'm excited to execute it. she will be 5!

thank you so much for your prayers, dear friends! i am always grateful ❤️ and now i am going to take a nap -- hate to waste all this coziness. I am super cold these days even when it's 76 or higher and I bring my blanket with me during my treatments because the blankets they have here aren't thick enough for me. it's nice i can come dressed up like I'm in the Arctic and I get no weird stares 😁

06 December 2022

this year, two words resound for me: FIGHT and HOPE. and in both words, my eyes are fixed on Jesus.

the book of Psalms continues to be the one book in the Bible that i find myself turning to again and again, and i have taken to personalizing many verses.

on my fight against cancer, i draw strength and courage from Psalm 118:6 -- The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can cancer* do unto me? (*substituted for man)

on hope, i always turn to Psalm 119:114 -- Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word.

with 3 1/2 weeks left in 2022, my heart is full of gratitude for everything that has happened, and of optimism, hope, and faith for the coming year. because with Jesus in the driver's seat of my life, how could i ever lose?

photo today: got my wrist splints and after putting them on, i felt like a boxer in training so cue the Rocky theme music 😃

01 December 2022

waiting to get hooked up for my 10th chemo. asking for prayers again as the last 2 weeks i have been experiencing bad neuropathy on both my arms and hands, worse on my left fingers and joints. it alternates between numbness and tingling at fingers, and most of the time my knuckles are swollen and I feel like I have severe arthritis. have told my medical team about it and they're looking to see how to adjust my meds. thank you for all the prayers. God bless you all!

update: my oncologist evaluated me and did some physical tests and concluded the numbness and tingling in my arms and hands aren't caused by my chemo meds, but rather carpal tunnel. so he wants me to wear wrist splints on both hands at night while i sleep and let him know if things improve or not next week when i come in for my next chemo. thank you again for all the prayers. all done with my treatment this week and just waiting for hubby to come pick me up.

29 November 2022

at my oncologist's office to get my labs done and while waiting saw this photo that Google generated. so love these girls. they are my world ❤️🥰💕

21 November 2022

this sweetie helped me reach 10,000 steps today. she also had a weird night last night -- woke up at past 11 and i felt her by the bed. said she missed me so she ended up snuggled up to me the rest of the night.

17 November 2022

getting my 9th chemo today. except for being sooo fatigued since the last treatment, i am otherwise fine -- no nausea, woohoo! i have also been learning a new skill and doing something i never imagined i'd be doing. for now, i'd like to keep it to myself (although very few know about it) and i'll share in due time. mostly because i am still learning, and it takes a distant second (or third or fourth) to my primary focus, which is to get through my treatments.

speaking of getting through...as someone with metastatic breast cancer (MBC), i've been reading up about my condition and one of the things that i keep coming across is this: there really is no finish line when it comes to treatments, unlike breast cancers that are detected early and/or are curable. MBC is incurable, but it is treatable. rather than sprinting to and crossing that finish line, i am on a marathon that doesn't really have a clear finish line. so there will be no ringing of the bell for me when i finish chemo. after recovering from it, i go straight to radiation therapy, and then after that, i hop right onto endocrine therapy, the goal being to keep my body from producing too much hormones (estrogen and progesterone), which are actually what's fueling the cancer, and keep the cancer from further metastasizing.

from what i've read and learned by talking to other women with MBC so far (plus from what my medical oncologist has told me), i'll be on endocrine therapy for years -- we're talking 3, 5, 10 years...for however long the drugs i get put on work. and if they stop working? then i'll be put on a different combination and be on that for however long that works again. all along, i go in for regular blood work and scans -- every 3 to 6 months.

the first couple of times i read about what MBC patients like me are facing, i almost sank into depression. almost. but i didn't. while i will never downplay the seriousness of living with cancer (although i can talk about shopping for wigs, breast prosthetics, and mastectomy bras with a little laugh), i also know it isn't the end of the line for me. not yet. i have time. i HAVE time. Jesus is giving me time. and what i do with that time He is graciously and lovingly giving me is what matters.

my favorite part of waking up in the morning is either (or both) of my girls climbing in bed to cuddle with me. it's when i'm between sleep and wakefulness with my arms around them that i feel so much joy. in the greater scheme of things, i don't much care about the finish line. or ringing some bell. this right here is why i am keeping up the fight for as long as Jesus will grant me time and hold me up.

ultimately, He gives me hope. Psalm 119:114 is a verse i fiercely cling on to: "You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Thy word." I never go a day without thinking/uttering this verse; even more so when i am feeling overwhelmed and close to losing it.

Jesus is good! ❤️🙏❤️

15 November 2022

{not-so} synchronized pole climbing outside subway after i got done with my labs this morning. was told to expect bruising on my left arm where i've been poked every week the last 2 months because my vein was being difficult. (fyi, they can't draw blood from my right arm per my radiology oncologist.)

{2022-11-15}

11 November 2022

while i was having my chemo yesterday, David took the girls shopping, then they went to the park that was a 5-minute drive from my treatment place. one of these days i'm going to be able to go to the park with them and watch them play (and try not to have a nervous breakdown lol) ❤

{2022-11-10}

10 November 2022

all hooked up for my 8th chemo. i'm so thankful to Jesus for keeping my nausea at bay for the most part of the week. the fatigue part...it's not so bad although i've had to really take it slow and easy, stopping and resting before the fatigue really takes over. which means the gazillion things in my to-do list on my Google calendar keeps getting pushed a couple of days or more. I know i have some other things to say but chemo brain is in force right now and all i would like to do is sleep while treatment is happening. can't wait to see my girls when they come pick me up. thank you for praying for me without ceasing, my lovely friends! please don't stop...i can tell you all it's so powerful and works! each day i thank God for each and every one of you, and pray He gives you strength to endure whatever it is you are going through or dealing with at any given moment. k, gotta nap now hahaha ❤️😌❤️

3 November 2022

on my 7th chemo. I have been doing well with very minimal nausea - praise Jesus! - but my energy levels remain low and most of the time i just want to lie down and/or sleep. the girls keep me on my toes, however, and every day i thank the Lord for giving me yet another day to make memories with them and my husband. here's the part where i try to say something profound --haha! -- and that is...we all live on the edge, and most of us are blissfully unaware of just how close we are on the edge. that blissful unawareness is no longer true for me, thanks to cancer. and knowing that, i am both terrified and comforted...because i am more keenly tuned in to simply savoring life, living it one day at a time. i am acutely aware i am on borrowed time, and knowing that makes me infinitely grateful to Jesus for the life I am living, for the life He continues to give me. I am on a precipice; the knowledge that i am so close to the edge and that one day one step would send me falling makes me even more thankful for what i have now and strengthens my resolve to soldier on and have more clarity -- what things I should let go, which battles i should fight, how i should treat others, how i should live my life. that last part is most important to/for me because how i live is my legacy to my children, so that through my example they will learn how to live theirs -- with hope and complete faith in the Father whose plan is ever so perfect. whether or not you can see your edge, know that Jesus is there to catch you. I believe He will make me soar. thank you, dear friends, for constantly praying for me. be blessed, as i have been blessed by our Lord ❤️🙏❤️

———

my replies to friends who:

*commented on my profundity:

• thank you, D. i appreciate those times when i am sitting in my chemo chair by myself quietly observing the nurses and other patients and simultaneously retreating to my thoughts -- that, even though i don't particularly enjoy typing on my phone (too small a screen and i am constantly fighting with auto-correct), i am moved to type and share, realizing that sharing my faith and how Jesus is working in me and through me shouldn't and cannot wait -- because someone out there might be encouraged by my testimony ❤

*commented on my testimony:

• thank you so much. i hope you were encouraged by it, and that whatever burden you might be carrying at the moment has been lifted in some way ❤

• thank you for constantly lifting us up in prayer! i can never thank you and our church family enough for the spiritual, physical, and financial support you all have given and continue to give us. i love that when i am able to be at church, brothers and sisters approach me and ask how i am doing...and i have so much to say it is really hard for me to shut up!😃 i am happy to read that you were blessed by my testimony -- YEAH! don't we serve an awesome God?!?!?

*said i am strong/an inspiration, encouraging me to keep fighting:

• 2 Corinthians 12:9 comes to mind -- Jesus' power is made perfect in our weakness. His grace is sufficient. His power is magnified as He sustains us in our weakness. I have been at my weakest since my diagnosis but His grace and mercy truly are sustaining me 🙂

• thank you. i believe it is Jesus' fight. and as He is fighting this cancer for me, I believe He has already won it for me. i just need to believe and stay the course.

• oh you should see me when i have those little meltdowns -- although they aren't as frequent these days as they were during the early days after my diagnosis. i'm far from strong; Jesus is who's keeping me from falling apart, because every single day i am forced to face cancer and then i remember that if i were to be consumed by something, it shouldn't be fear of cancer, but that i am better off consumed by the hope that Jesus is taking care of it for me ❤

24 October 2022

it's a beautiful fall weather day today and my little artists are happily painting their next masterpieces after they walked me this morning. they again got their schoolwork finished early, thanks mainly to their daddy who has tons of patience!

chemo-induced nausea update: I had high hopes for the scopolamine patch to work all the way through 3 days but it only worked for a day and a half. I woke up Sabbath morning with the familiar feeling of nausea so I didn't get to go to church with the girls. so i am back to square one. it was nice to have a day of nausea relief, though, and I'm still very thankful for that!

15 October 2022

6 months. exactly 6 months ago today, my husband and i sat in my primary care provider's office and we were told i have breast cancer. i really didn't need to hear it from her, because i knew. i knew in my heart. it was a sickening feeling that i carried for months. i wished it--prayed it--away, for weeks, for months. until that day 6 months ago when the biopsy finally confirmed it. between then and today, our lives were upturned and we were forced to find a new normal. between then and today, i found i have grown in my faith, and that while our road ahead is largely unknown and remains incredibly scary, Jesus has put inside me a deep, calming acceptance of His plan for me--that i shouldn't be afraid because He is with us, He is with me. no matter what. i have breast cancer. but it doesn't have me. Jesus does ❤

12 October 2022

this morning i actually had to use shampoo on my hair and condition it too, and use a fine-tooth comb to tame all the hair 😁😆😅 and i think i gotta get me some hair gel because the last several mornings, i've been waking up with hair sticking out like crazy. seriously thinking of shaving it all again but maybe i will wait a while and see how my hair is going to look like post-baldy. thank you all for the prayers -- still pretty nauseated, and my 4th chemo is tomorrow. i have basically given up on trying to make it go away and just be thankful for the short windows of time i get some relief, and accepting that the nausea is just one of those unfortunate side effects of chemo that i have to live with for a while. i can't really complain much because i am alive, all thanks to Jesus, and i get to be with the 3 people i love with all my ❤ . so overall, life is good! hope you all are having a great week!!

10 October 2022

my 2 most precious treasures here on earth. so very thankful for another day i got to spend with them.

asking for prayers once again. my nausea has not let up since thursday afternoon and i am pretty exhausted. i've done the usual...ginger, spearmint gum, compazine, chemo relief nasal inhaler, walk, juice, etc. -- they all work for a little while and then the nausea is back; it's so persistent i'm so worn down. silver lining is i have not thrown up even once 🙂

{photo taken 2022-10-05 at the pumpkin patch}

7 October 2022

i'm almost halfway to meeting the goal for Breast Cancer Awareness Month -- woohoo! walked 3 miles this morning, despite the nausea, joint pain, and mild tingling in my legs and feet. yesterday i had my 3rd chemo and immediately after coming home, i felt nauseated so i was pretty much useless and mostly laid in bed. last night, i was up until 3 a.m. because my legs were bothering me; and i kept needing to use the bathroom every 20-30 minutes i was afraid i might be developing a urinary tract infection. (the numbers from my bloodwork Wednesday were all within the normal range except for the bun/creatinine ratio -- which was high.) so i just kept drinking water...and thereby going to the bathroom more...hoping to cleanse my kidneys. i guess it worked because i woke up feeling fine, not needing to go so often anymore 🙂 so i'm just dealing with a bit of nausea, joint pain, and tingling in my legs and feet today -- all of which went away while i was walking. makes me wish i could just keep on walking all day but i gotta take care of the little ones. so friends, please pray over me once again -- mainly for these chemo side effects to go away 🙂

if you would like to donate (even $5 will go a long way!), my fundraiser is HERE

6 October 2022

after getting my labs done yesterday, we took the girls to the pumpkin patch. we've been going here every year since 2016, when Kathryn was a year old.

will share the rest of our pumpkin patch photos later after i am home from my 3rd chemo treatment. hope you are all having a wonderful and blessed week, dear friends!! ❤

3 October 2022

3.83 miles this morning - yeah! and hey, 1 mile of that, i jogged -- JOGGED! i've had nausea since thursday after coming home from my second chemo treatment. not the full-on, don't-think-i'll-survive-one-more-day kind of nausea but the mild kind...one that's enough to make me feel like bleh and not want to do too much (except to get up to use the bathroom). but i've been pushing myself and trying to walk it off because, well, it's better than just sitting and thinking about how terrible i feel. (being miserable and dwelling on just how miserable i am is pretty exhausting and frankly, it gets old.)

this morning, after walking half a mile at my usual slow, 2-miles-an-hour pace, i asked myself what if i walked a little faster despite the nausea? then before i knew it, i was jogging, something i have not been able to do in a long time for various reasons (excuses, really).

Kathryn and Winter had planted themselves by the woodpile earlier and were playing with dead wood, twigs, and dirt but when they saw me jog past them the first time, they were clearly intrigued.

Kathryn looked up and asked with wonder and concern in her voice, "mama, what are you doing?!?!?"

i had been jogging less than a minute so i wasn't huffing and puffing visibly yet so i told her with a smile, "i'm jogging, sweetie!"

they quickly abandoned what they were doing, obviously believing what i was doing was more fun and they caught up with me.

five seconds later, Kathryn asked, "what's jogging, mama?"

"it's slower than a run but faster than a walk," i answered.

"ohhhhh..." she and Winter said, and then they broke into a full-on run. it didn't take them long to get back to the woodpile, and i guess they decided i was too slow for them so they went back to playing, and i kept on jogging. for a mile. i passed by the woodpile 9 more times.

i should mention that all the while i jogged, i kept asking God to take my nausea away. that, and to help me keep on going for a mile at least. i asked Him to keep my knees from hurting. i asked Him to help my body heal.

since i have not jogged in a while, i knew better than to push it. so once i'd jogged a mile -- and i didn't feel any knee pains -- i stopped and walked the remainder, thankful that the nausea seemed to have gone away as well. as i approached the woodpile, the girls noticed i wasn't jogging anymore. Winter came up and reached for my hand, her sister walking on the other side of her.

"mama, you're so sweaty!" Kathryn exclaimed.

"yes, sweetie. that's what happens when you jog," i said.

"but you're really, really sweaty, mama!" Winter said.

you would think they've never seen me sweat before today. (they have, by the way.)

"you're going to need to take a long bath to get all your sweat off, mama," Kathryn declared.

"yeah," Winter agreed. "because you don't want to be stinky!"

it didn't take them long to get bored just walking with me so they took off and started playing under the pine tree by the front porch. i walked another mile, happy and thankful to God for answered prayers. (and hopeful that tomorrow, i will be able to do this again.)

2 October 2022

on our morning walk at the moment. have walked a little over a mile so far :⁠-⁠)

30 September 2022

hello, friends! October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and the American Cancer Society is holding its 3rd Annual 35-Mile Walk Challenge. i am taking on the challenge by walking at least 35 miles in 31 days -- i'm confident i will meet/surpass this goal, as i walk an average of 3 miles a day 🙂

it would be wonderful if you could join me too by walking or donating (just $5 will go a LONG way towards helping the fight against breast cancer!) or both!

i'm dedicating my walks to all the brave women (and men) who are fighting breast cancer, all those who passed away from breast cancer, as well as families and friends whose lives have been impacted by this awful disease.

thank you so much and God bless you! 🙂

DONATE HERE

29 September 2022

my numbers from yesterday's labs are good so I'm good to go for my second chemo today. fatigue and joint pains didn't come on until day 4, and i had nausea tuesday and yesterday but it wasn't as bad as my chemo treatments a couple of months ago so praise the Lord for that! 🙂 ❤

25 September 2022

we made it to Costco today for our annual shopping cart photo shoot + it happens to be National Daughters Day so i'm even more glad to be able to take photos of the girls 🙂

24 September 2022

oh how wonderful it is to be able to attend church again this Sabbath and be with my church family! day 3 post-chemo and i am feeling none of the side effects -- thank you, Jesus! my ❤ is full with gratitude to all who have been praying for me, and i am in awe of God and His infinite love and mercy! May you all be blessed as I am and have been, dear friends ❤

22 September 2022

and chemo starts today. me and this chair are gonna be buddies for the next 3 hours -- every week for the next 12 weeks. thank you for praying ❤

———

hello, friends! my first chemo treatment went well today. more than that, i have some bit of good news + some bad...but despite the bad news, i am celebrating the good and glorifying Jesus! for those of you who would like to see my mega-watt smile and sparkling personality (hahahaha!), you can watch the video. you can read the bulk of it below...i said some extra things in the video that aren't in the transcription below so really, you gotta watch hehehe! i am just so happy and hopeful, and thankful and grateful to all of you who are constantly lifting me up in prayer! and that all of what's happened, what's happening, and what's going to happen...what it all means is that Jesus is in control. ❤

-------

I finally was able to talk to my oncologist today during my chemotherapy appointment about my follow up PET scan results two months ago (July 20). I discussed my concerns with him that the only evidence for my “metastatic” diagnosis was the first PET scan that was done on April 29. The follow-up bone biopsy in June was inconclusive. The liquid biopsy did not find a detectable cancer level – in fact he was unable to find any blood markers for keeping track of the cancer. I had no pain in the areas that were reported positive – the right iliac wing that had an 15 mm lesion, and the left periacetabular region which was more subtle with an 8 mm lesion – which he had previously said was unusual. He had also previously stated that it was very unusual to be Stage 4 upon first diagnosis with my type of cancer.

After reading through the radiology reports from the first and second PET scans during this visit, my oncologist came to the conclusion that it is possible I had some other cancer or degenerative condition revealed by the first PET scan that has since resolved, or that the first 4 rounds of chemo had worked so well that the bone cancer had decreased to undetectable levels. He said he has no way to determine conclusively whether I’m still stage 4, but, “If there is no cancer in the bones” my diagnosis is “Stage 3a”. Initially I would have been a Stage 2b, but the surgeon who removed my right breast said the cancer had spread into the lymph nodes all around the breast.

As a result of the local spread of cancer into the lymph nodes, the surgeon and oncologist agree I need radiation after I finish my next 12 rounds of chemo. However, my “incurable” breast cancer of the bone either never existed or has remarkably improved to an undetectable level, with all of the previous metastatic lesion sites on the bones labeled “resolved” by the radiologist. The difference between Stage 4 and Stage 3 with my type of cancer is that Stage 4 is incurable with a 27% 1 year survival rate (the oncologist thought in my good health and modern treatments I could make it as long as 7 or 8 years) and the Stage 3 is considered curable (with high recurrence rates) and an 86% 5 year survival rate.

My husband David says that is a remarkable 5 year survival rate considering the majority of diagnoses for my particular type of breast cancer are in women over 65. But unlike the oncologist, we know that though tomorrow is not certain, nothing is incurable for those who trust in God.

---------

12 September 2022

we had a little rain a couple of days ago so the girls took out their umbrellas and ran around and danced and sang in the rain. they were happy - which made this mama happy too 🙂 ❤

a little update: i'm 3 weeks post-op and doing better. pain has been tolerable (lots of phantom pain) so i've been able to wean myself off the oxycodone and have been taking gabapentin for nerve pain. the nausea has subsided -- the lemongrass and ginger blend i've been using on my diffuser has been helping. still very limited use of my right arm, and doing daily arm exercises to help. hair is a little longer too! i am seeing my oncologist in 10 days -- possibly starting my next round of chemo. my surgeon recommended i also undergo radiation therapy afterwards. thank you so much for continuing to pray for me -- God is so good to gift me with friends like you! have a wonderful week! ❤

10 September 2022

it's September and around here, it's become tradition to do a shopping cart photo on the 25th. (well, it's actually something i started doing and wanted to do every year with the girls.) would like to have another photo of the girls taken on that day but just in case we can't make it to Costco (or Aldi) then, the hubby's already got a photo of the girls. while i was at my surgeon's office for my post-op appointment last Wednesday, he took the girls to Costco. Kathryn was all smiles while Winter, well, was not heh (she wasn't in the mood). second photo is a collage of photos of the girls every year on September 25 from 2018 to 2021. 😁😍😀

9 September 2022

9 1/2 weeks post-chemo and my hair is starting to grow. i think it's a little over a millimeter long. and looks like i'm growing -- GASP! -- sideburns! mwahahaha! 😂🤣😅 {no, i'm not taking a pic. just take my word for it hehehe} have a great weekend, friends! Happy Sabbath! ❤

3 September 2022

29 August 2022

the Kat is 7! all she wanted was blaze pizza and pumpkin pie on her birthday 🙂

4.5 months ago, when our world came crashing down on us, i didn't know if i was going to be around to see her turn 7. but Jesus is merciful, and i am grateful i am here with her to celebrate her birthday.

when she closed her eyes to make her birthday wish before blowing out the candle, she said she wished for me to feel better. i love this little girl with all my ❤ - i didn't think i was ever going to have kids, but she made me a mom!

drain is out - yay! still so very nauseated so I've just been sitting in the car while David runs around getting stuff for the little birthday party 🎉🎈🎉🎈 we're having for Kathryn today. my little girl is 7!!! thank you so much for the constant prayers, dear friends! hope you are all having a wonderful week!

26 August 2022

well, the second drain didn't come out this morning. it's because I'm still doing about 10 ml/cc of fluids every 8 hours so surgeon decided i need to keep the drain over the weekend. going back Monday morning to have it pulled out. meanwhile my nausea persists. been sucking on ginger chews non-stop. anti-nausea meds like zofran don't work. can't take the one prescribed to me while I was on chemo because it's contraindicated with my pain med (oxycodone) so I just gotta bear this. haven't eaten much but dry cheerios and tortilla have helped a bit. can't stand up or sit up for more than 5 minutes without feeling like i'm going to pass out. I know this will pass...just wish it passes soon. thank you so much to all of you who are tirelessly praying for me. you are such a blessing in my life! ❤

25 August 2022

second day of severe nausea. started yesterday at noon. persisted until that afternoon when I went to my surgeon's office to have first drain removed. that was pretty traumatic. felt like I had another surgery as he pulled the tube out that was placed where my right breast used to be. searing blinding pain, I just about passed out. second tube coming out tomorrow morning and I'm bracing myself for more pain. right now I just want to get through this nausea; only position that works is horizontal. I am asking for prayers once again. thank you.

22 August 2022

thank you so much for all the prayers! I went into surgery at 10:45 am and woke up at 2:45 pm. last thing I remember is reciting Psalm 119:114 as I lay on the operating table, and then waking up with it in my head. i'm still a little loopy but starting to feel a bit of throbbing pain so i am thankful for pain meds 🙂 thank you again for lifting me up in prayer 🙏 surgeon and nurse talked to David soon after my surgery and told him it all went well.

16 August 2022

finally with my babies!

i come home to find they both learned how to play Rise of Nations/Age of Empires...something David has been wanting me to learn how to play over the last 20 years but i never did. these two mastered it in two weeks -- they've been talking about forming a senate, building universities, starting farms, populating their towns, catapults, and soldiers. Winter's gotten real good at it too because she's completed missions a few times all by herself! 😃

13 August 2022

6 August 2022

5 August 2022

Eden Valley Day 6 - morning hike before breakfast. Amazing to experience God's handiwork. Thankful that Sabbath is almost here!

4 August 2022

1 August 2022

Day 2 at Eden Valley. Today and tomorrows schedules are pretty much the same except that tomorrow I get a massage added in and my first physician consult. so it's pictures today and video tomorrow. (and also because I didn't get to take a photo of the hyperbaric oxygen treatment chamber I was in today). Also plan on sharing through videos more since it's easier. I didn't bring my laptop and I don't like typing on my phone.

anyway, Mondays and Tuesdays are juice days so from 7:30 am to 3:30 pm, we're given a variety of super healthy juices, which also include protein and/or probiotics every 2 hours. for supper, it's broth that we can spice up however we like. I spiced mine up with kelp, Celtic salt, coconut oil, garlic, onion, celery, and cayenne powder. I had my first fever bath today and it's actually the first day in a long time I didn't have any nausea! so the fever bath was a particularly enjoyable experience and took about an hour. later in the afternoon I had my first hyperbaric oxygen treatment and that too went well. I'm not claustrophobic so I went for the longer treatment...about 50 minutes. I feel I could've stayed in there for longer but I had another appointment scheduled an hour after that.

also sharing photos of the building where my room is in. I love that it's set up like a house. you can see the living room where we have our morning devotionals and evening lectures as we sip our supper broth.

will share more tomorrow via video as there's so much to talk about! thank you to all who wish me well and continue to pray for me. I am loving my time here at Eden Valley.

30 July 2022

this morning i was privileged to briefly share my testimony in front of my church family. (it's at the 24-minute mark.) results of my recent PET scan demonstrate God's goodness and mercy. also, at the 42-minute mark, you'll see my girls collecting the children's offering 🙂

happy Sabbath, my friends! ❤

WHEN, not IF. they believe this cancer will go away one day. now that is faith and it makes my heart happy that my husband and i are raising girls who have so much faith in Jesus that they ask Him to heal me and make me all better. because nothing is ever more important than faith in the One who is the Author of all things.

*****

we have just come home from town. this morning i had a PET scan and we will know soon enough if anything has changed with my bones and breast.

yesterday i was at my oncologist for my every-4-weeks bone injection, and the day before that, i had labs drawn. so far my neutrophils count is good, and all the others are within what you would expect from a cancer patient/someone who's going through chemo.

i continue to be in a not-so-good state for the most part. i get incredibly tired that by the time 11 am rolls around, i'm ready to collapse and sleep the day off -- which is what i've done the days we've been home. i'm pretty much wiped out by today's trip to town i'd probably sleep a few hours while David and the girls do whatever it is they do when i'm not around 😉

my nausea continues but it's been manageable. i'm super weak, especially below the knees i have to be careful when i'm walking. also been having sudden/random stabbing pains in my joints...we suspect it's caused by the shot for my white blood cells. keeping track of it and will mention it to my oncologist when i see him about my PET scan results.

thank you for continuing to pray for us. all your prayers are being heard! ❤

{first photo taken 2022-07-20, this morning when Winter walked me before we left for my scan; second photo taken 2022-07-19, yesterday while they did the grocery as i was getting my shot}

please keep praying -- and know that i am thankful you are all lifting me and my family up in prayer! you are all amazing Prayer Warriors and i am blessed to be surrounded by you all!

Happy Sabbath!

7 July 2022

so after my last chemo on tuesday, we went to a Thai place that's about 20 minutes from home and we celebrated my birthday. well, not just my birthday but a few birthdays we didn't get to celebrate in May by eating out -- my MIL Jeanne's, FIL Mike's, and hubby David's -- plus our 18th wedding anniversary. so it was 5 celebrations in 1. the girls had a great time...we all did. i was able to eat everything we ordered lol -- fresh tofu/vegetable spring rolls, garlic pepper tofu, pad see ew, pad thai, chili fried rice + thai tea. love that we were able to eat together as a family. it was a little challenging getting a family selfie but we managed :o)

thank you so much to everyone who greeted me and wished me well on my birthday!! thank you for continuing to pray for me. next up is surgery -- which will happen sometime in mid-August. between now and then, i have to go in for more lab tests, injection (for my bones), PET scan, and a couple other doctor appointments and procedures. plus i will be going on a 2-week cancer program/retreat in Colorado to help my body, mind, and spirit ready for the surgery, recovery, more chemo, hormone therapy -- basically the future ahead as a mom and wife {living with/surviving/beating} breast cancer. God bless you all, my dear friends!